Stop, Drop, and NO!

    In situations where I wanted to please someone or control a reaction, I also found myself choosing resentment over guilt. I was afraid of how that person would perceive me. I did not want to seem selfish or mean. It felt more comfortable to deal with resentment than to speak my truth. It is often easy to agree to an undesirable favor or lie about who we are in order to show someone a positive version of ourselves. 

    I lived exhausted offering my time to those around me. Favors became obligations and I felt angry trying to meet my own needs. I began to say “no” more frequently yet I was still getting a pit in my stomach. Thinking of how I was going to say “no” would make me feel anxious. I would guilt trip myself for choosing me. I avoided the feeling of guilt and other emotions for the majority of my life by saying “yes”. Saying “no” did not mean that I was selfish or being rude, it simply meant that I did not or could not do what was being asked. 

    The fear of how I imagined an outcome kept me from doing what I wanted. This led to resentment towards the other person and anger towards myself. What a trap! Practice speaking your truth by checking in with yourself after you accept or decline a request. 

Share your favorite ways to say no! How do you feel when you say “no”? Why have you said yes in the past and really meant no? What do you say “yes” to today?